Not the End Really
by Kirabaros
Summary: Death is not really the end but a new beginning. You just have to be accepting and ready for it. Sam feels that he is and goes with Angela by his side to meet Death after Sam decided to stop doing the trials. As always they choose to do things together.


**Not the End Really**

It felt good walking with Bobby. It made Sam realize how much he had missed the grizzled hunter since his passing even though he had briefly seen him when he rescued his soul from hell. The setting of the forest, he found that it was rather peaceful and gave him the time he needed to process the fact that because he stopped the trials, he was basically dying. It also gave him the chance to realize that there was one person that he hadn't seen since entering into an argument with his brother in the Impala.

Sam talked with Bobby a bit and debated about the pros and cons of continuing to fight. All the while he was looking and searching. He hadn't had much practice but the basics had worked and he could sense the tick. He led the way and noticed how the soft shades of light seemed to get brighter and it certainly was one of those moments that looked like it should have been in Lord of the Rings when he did find her.

She was kneeling and playing with puppies and not just any puppies but it looked like a litter from Sasha since they were Wilder pups and they looked like Sasha. She looked happy and that made Sam happy more than anything. She deserved better.

As if she had sensed them coming, she looked at them and stood up, picking up the pup that she had been holding. When she had gotten close, Sam couldn't help but tease her, "Always knew that you would be playing with the pups."

Angela smiled a tired smile as she cuddled the pup. "What can I say, the real deal is much more fun than the master," she teased, making fun of Sam's puppy eyes.

Sam chuckled as he looked at her. She looked beautiful; there was nothing more to say. Even at her worst, she was beautiful. He could make out the faint sick shadows that had haunted her eyes for so long and he gently caressed her face, feeling with his thumb.

"You know that we are dying Sam," Angela said. Her expression was sad, serious and curious all rolled into one. It was almost the look that he disliked heartily but it wasn't one of those looks and he sort of grew out of it.

"Well that's putting it blunt," Bobby said.

Sam didn't reply to that but he did say, "I know."

"Take a walk?" Angela motioned and offered.

Sam didn't hesitate and gently took her hand and almost snickered when she adjusted the pup to hold it like she would a football. He could feel her fingers intertwined with his and the smooth rough calluses on her palms. He cherished her touch and found it hard to believe that she was dying like he was.

"I'm not afraid for starters," Angela said as she leaned her head on Sam's shoulder. "You know I've been around Death quite a bit."

"And nearly scaring the bejesus out of us," Bobby groused.

Angela chuckled at that as she leaned into Sam a little bit, still holding onto the pup. Sam couldn't help but chuckled with her. That was always the source of exasperation since there were a couple of times she was technically dead and then came back to life. It scared him but as the years passed he grew to take it because he had to and was secure in the knowledge that she always considered him and Dean when she made her risky choices. He said, "But you always kept your promise."

"I know and sometimes loosely defined them," Angela replied. She sighed, "You know this reminds me of when we were in Europe back in the 14th century. You were my gallant knight in shining armor."

"You really ought to lay off the romance novels," Sam joked since he remembered that fairly well. He knew it wasn't completely like that since she was a different character entirely. He noticed that Bobby had faded to the background and it left the three of them alone. He sighed, "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

Sam chuckled a bit before continuing, "Was it worth it?"

"Do you want the answer to that question or do you want the answer to the one that you have been talking to Bobby about while you were looking for me?"

Sam shrugged as they walked, "Both I guess."

Angela nodded and snuggled the puppy closer, "Honestly I think that there are things worth fighting for but there does come a time when you have to stop and acknowledge that you are done and that it is okay to let go. You feel at peace, like I do with you."

"Even after all that has happened?"

Angela couldn't help but chuckle. The puppy made its puppy squeak and looked around but her hand still held Sam's fast. "You always ask me some form of this question Sam and I never really understood why but I think I do now." She stopped and turned to look at Sam and smiled. "We've been through a lot and you know better than anyone how hard it is for me to share my feelings. I think you were never really sure if I was being honest about it."

"I didn't mean for that," Sam apologized.

"I know and I hold no grudges. I haven't for a while." Angela looked away at nothing in particular and then back at Sam. "Honest truth is that never once did I regret ever knowing and loving you. I may have questioned a few of my decisions because at the time it seemed things were… not worth it. In the end everything I've done, it's because I've had you, _il mio forza_ Sam. I can look back and say that I have done a lot and then some. Can you?"

Sam looked at Angela. As far as he could tell she deserved some measure of peace. She put herself down to her very soul to help those in need. He couldn't say much about it, "I don't think so."

"So I suppose saving the world doesn't count?" Angela smiled at him. "I can't say that I've done that." She noticed the look and Sam's lowered head. She tried to catch his eye, "Sam, what do you want?"

Sam looked up and saw the piercing look in her eye. With most people it was sharp but she always softened it and she was one of the few people that ever asked him what he wanted. He replied, "What I want is for it to be over. If I die, I want it to be so that nothing can bring me back. I am tired of being responsible for people dying because of me." He felt guilty for saying that since he knew that she would trade her life for his.

"And that's okay," Angela replied as she released Sam's hand and ran her fingers through his hair. She studied his features liked she was viewing it for the first time and it felt like it since when she last looked at him they weren't exactly a hundred percent.

"Every time we are brought back, it screws with us," Sam continued. It felt like her carding his hair was the breaking of the dam. He had wanted to say it for a time but he was afraid of hurting her feelings; that she would take it to mean that she meant nothing to him. "And I am tired of it."

"That's okay Sam," Angela repeated softly. "I know how you feel. I am tired and have been tired for a long time doing things for everyone else. The one selfish thing I am glad to have done was to go to hell after you. Granted that was not a pleasant experience but if given the chance I would do it again… for you."

Sam felt his throat convulse. He always said that she knew how to hit hard when it came to the emotions. He looked at the pup that was looking up at him and couldn't help but pet it. He smiled a little at the affectionate squeak it gave and it licked his hand. "You know I would do the same for you. Always and forever right?"

"Always and forever," Angela replied. "If you want it to end, it's okay and I'll go with you."

"But you weren't the one going through the trials. What you felt was me…"

"And you forget I was going through a set of my own. For what purpose and what they are… I don't know and frankly, it doesn't matter. I am ready." Angela looked up at Sam and gave a determined look. "I am ready."

Sam studied her for a moment and slowly took her hand. He held it in his and felt the contours. Gently he massaged the palms and felt the bones underneath the skin. He knew every inch like he would his own. "You want this?"

"Death is not the end Sam," Angela said with a knowing smile. "It's the beginning of something different and new; a journey that we all take someday. I'm just glad to know that I'm going with someone I love and trust until the end as clichéd as that sounds." To finish it off, she stood on her toes and leaned forward to give a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Sam accepted it and returned it with one of his own. The last time they kissed was before they went ahead with the plan to cure Crowley. He broke the kiss and gently pressed his forehead to hers feeling that warmth of her race that was so gentle. "Alright, together."

"Bout time ya two had yer talk. Now come on this way," the grizzled voice of Bobby entered.

Sam still had his forehead pressed against hers. He gave a gentle peck to her forehead and grasped her hand. Together they walked with Bobby towards a cabin. Bobby pointed out that if they wanted it to be over, going through the door was the key. Sam paused and looked at Angela. She was no longer holding the pup but it was at her feet and a near adult. She nodded and held fast to his hand. He held hers and clasped it in both hands.

Thanking Bobby, Sam led the way into the cabin. She didn't let go and he didn't either. It would be as they always said it would be. He felt at peace standing there with her and he smiled at her and they continued into the main room. It seemed like they were greeted by an old friends when Death himself stood up and said, "Sam and Angela Winchester. I have been waiting for you."

* * *

**A/N:** In honor of the season premier and what happens with Angie and Sam. Hope you enjoy.


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